I was driving my van
when it hit me
I had nowhere to go.
Nowhere I needed to be.
And in that stillness, the missing came rushing in.
My home.
My dog.
My husband.
The life that feels like it belongs
to another version of me
a version I don’t know if I can find my way back to.
My mind flipped through photo albums,
pages tearing past too fast to hold.
I reached for one
just one to steady myself
but each memory slipped away,
like water through my hands.
My breath grew heavy,
heat rose under my skin,
and the tears came faster than I could fight.
And I wondered
is there a world where this road I’m on,
this messy, searching path of self-discovery,
circles back to that love?
Where I can keep the pieces I’m finding
and still return to him?
Because the truth is simple,
even when the journey isn’t.
I miss him.
I miss us.