I love you,
so maybe I should let you go.
That’s what they say…
if you love someone, set them free.
But please, don’t come back to me.
I love you with everything I am,
every fiber of my body,
every inch of my soul,
and that’s what terrifies me.
If I believe in this love so completely,
why do I keep hurting you?
Why can I break you
and still manage to breathe?
If I love you,
why do I leave you with bruises,
with scars,
with baggage you never asked to carry?
I don’t want to hurt you anymore.
I don’t want to be the reason you flinch,
the reason love feels like something
you have to survive.
I want you to live the life you deserve.
to love and be loved
in a way that makes you shine,
so bright the sun would be jealous.
I want you to hear the rain
and feel safe,
to stay in, stay close,
wrapped in the warmth of someone
who never makes you doubt
that you are enough
I can’t keep asking you to change for me.
I can’t keep piling weight onto your shoulders
and act surprised
when you collapse under the pressure.
I am so sorry
for who I have become,
for what I have turned this love into.
I know you think about leaving.
I see it in your eyes,
in the hesitation before you speak,
in the way you reach for the door
but never turn the handle.
It isn’t fair to keep you here.
Not when I know you want to run.
I won’t make you plan your escape.
I won’t force you to serve this sentence.
I will open the door,
hand you the keys,
walk away,
and never return.
Because you deserve more than this.
More than me.