I wasn’t sure I was gonna go.
I sat with it for a bit, feeling nervous in a way I didn’t want to admit out loud. Just that quiet hum in the back of my head saying you’re older, you don’t really know them, you don’t drink, you don’t surf, you’re gonna look stupid. All of it. But I still went.
And honestly? I had a blast.
I’m sore as hell. I flailed around like a cartoon character. But I caught a couple waves. I even stood up a few times. And that feeling, riding a wave with the sunset lighting up the mountains behind me and the sky bleeding orange and pink, it was something I didn’t know I needed.
I kept thinking, I would’ve missed this if I listened to the voice that said don’t go.
It was unreal. The sun finally dipped and disappeared, and then the moon just showed up like she owned the place. Full, bright, huge. It was actually gorgeous. She lit up the water and I swear there was this shimmer in the waves. like some soft glowing bioluminescence. Like the ocean was in on the moment too.
We stayed out there a bit longer. Then stood around chatting with our boards in the vans. Everyone was laughing and sharing stories and I realized I didn’t feel out of place anymore. And when I looked up? The stars were just… loud. Like, really there. The mountains were these dark jagged shadows and the moonlight was hitting just right and it felt like we were the only ones in the world getting to see it.
I don’t know, it was just one of those nights where everything softened. Like all the heaviness I’ve been carrying didn’t disappear, but it lifted just enough to breathe again.
Nature really said: You needed this, huh?
And yeah, I did.
I feel light. I feel proud of myself for going. For saying yes. For catching a wave. For standing up. For being sober and still showing up for joy. Even when it feels easier to stay home and hide.
Tonight felt healing in a way that didn’t try too hard. No big revelation. No “everything is okay now.” Just… this was good. And that’s enough.